GRRM breaks your heart featuring spoilers

George R. R. Martin: This is Bran. Bran loves climbing things. Oh my god he is freaking all about climbing. He loves climbing things so much you don't even know. He's really good at climbing. Someday he's going to be a strong knight. He just loves running and climbing. He loves it so much.
Readers: Aw, Bran, he's such a sweetheart. He's going to be so strong like his brothers.
George R. R. Martin: Whoops. My finger slipped. Bran is now a paraplegic.
Readers: Nnh! Whuh---Why would you---? But---he---But---climbing---
George R. R. Martin: This is Jaime.
Readers: Ah! Boo! We hate him!
George R. R. Martin: Did I mention that all Lannisters get the best and sassiest lines in the whole series?
Readers: Mmh... Still don't like him. Okay maybe we like him a little.
George R. R. Martin: Jaime loves two things-- Cersei and Swordfighting. Also he's very sassy. And he's the best at swordfighting. Also his love with Cersei is really heartbreaking because incest is so messed up but at the same time there's really no one else in the world for them. They will never love other people like they love each other. Also Jaime really loves swordfighting. He loves swordfighting so much. You don't understand how much he loves swordfighting.
Readers: Well...I guess...The more you think about it the more you see the Lannisters as tragic and sympathetic characters.
George R. R. Martin: Did somebody say tragic?
Readers: Wait---don't---
George R. R. Martin: Remember how Jaime loved sword fighting and Cersei more than anything?
Readers: Please----
George R. R. Martin: Whoops. Sword hand gone. Cersei doesn't love him.
Readers: (Weeping in fetal positions on the floor)
George R. R. Martin: This is Theon. He loves archery and banging chicks.
Readers: STOP.